I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
