Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
At least life still wants to fuck me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
