What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize