Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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