oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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