My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
