WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
