...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
