I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
