before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
