I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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