Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
