We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
