found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
