what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
