You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
