either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
