i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
