also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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