nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
