you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
