He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
