It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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