is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize