That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
