I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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