new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
