do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
