so let's talk penis.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Randomize
