Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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