the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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