"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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