Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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