There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
