The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
