I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize