bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
