I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
