What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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