I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
