there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
