we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
