Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
