Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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