I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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