just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
