she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think a kid would responsible me up
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
