You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
