that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just had sex bonerless
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
