Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
someone owes me an orgasm
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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