you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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