Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
