ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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