Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
ttyl tear gas
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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