If i come over, it means nothing
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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