We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
