Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Soap is not a condiment
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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