where am i from again
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
