i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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