Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
