It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
