The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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