you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
