If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
