Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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