just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i think i have two assholes
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize