I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize